And so back in the solar day I used to piece of work for CES. Oh yes. I was a member of the elite church within the church. I student taught seminary for a twelvemonth and was really paid with your tithing money to do and then. I came equally close as you can come up to beingness hired as a seminary teacher without really getting hired. Information technology was a rough year, and very competitive. They were in a hiring freeze and but hiring to replace the teachers who were retiring. I made it through every cutting simply the terminal one. Anyway, enough about all that nonsense, I'm here to talk almost my favorite CES website.

Equally you lot may or may non know, seminary and institute teachers, considering they are a part of the aristocracy church within the church, have access to a lot of materials that boilerplate members of the church building don't. Most of it is boring old scriptural concordances and indexed versions of every full general briefing talk ever given. Anyway, there was 1 site I fell in love with that was called Spurious Materials in Circulation.

The spurious materials site tracked all those hokey, false, supposedly religion promoting stories that you hear from the pulpit or read in emails forwarded by your seemingly well-intended mother. The purpose of the site was to inform seminary plant teachers which stories were fake, and therefore should not be used as teaching aids. This didn't finish anyone from using such stories, of course, but the site was very interesting.

Before losing admission to my CES business relationship, I saved some of the spurious materials nerveless on the site and I'll present them hither. Perhaps other current or old CES employees will have other examples from the site, and I would love to hear about them. Additionally, the fantastic holyfetch.com has go a fantastic resources for all kinds of fake, supposedly faith-promoting Mormon nonsense. Anyway, hither are the spurious materials:

Rumor: Statements on Cocky Reliance and Nutrient Storage
Additional Data: Several statements are being circulated and used regarding self
reliance, preparedness, and impending doom. One such statement purports that President Boyd K. Packer told a group of leaders at a stake priesthood leadership coming together in 2006 that President Gordon B. Hinckley instructed the Brethren to no longer discuss preparedness since members had been counseled about it for over a hundred years.

Another purported statement attributed to President Packer in 2006 relates to him telling his family that something serious was coming and that they should take their storage and preparedness items prepare and be prepared to go out their homes. Please consider these statements spurious and do not use them.

Rumor: No Foundation to People's republic of china Rumor
Additional Information: A rumor has been circulating that select members are existence called on missions to Red china. The rumor claims that someone in a relative'south ward, or in a friend's ward, received a letter of the alphabet extending a mission call merely the field of service was left bare.

According to the rumor, the private was instructed to call a telephone number and then was "patched through to President Gordon B. Hinckley," who then asked if the  prospective missionary would be willing to serve a three-twelvemonth mission to people's republic of china, the first twelvemonth consisting only of humanitarian service.

The Church News had been brash that this rumor has no foundation. No such mission calls accept been extended (Church News, 23 December. 2006, 13).

Rumor: Mormon Tabernacle Choir England Tour Cancellation
Additional Information: It was purported that the tour of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, scheduled to exist in England at the time of the June 2005 terrorist bombings, was cancelled in December 2004 by President Gordon B. Hinckley and that had President Hinckley non cancelled the tour, the Tabernacle Choir would have been in the King's Cross train tunnel that was bombed. In reality, 1) the cancellation of the choir trip was made some fourth dimension subsequently April 2004 general conference, not in December 2004, 2) the itinerary for the tour would have placed the choir in London on 17 July 2005 and non on the seven July 2005 bombing date, and 3) the choir would non have been at the Male monarch's Cross Station or anywhere nearly it—they would have been traveling past coach to Scotland (Memo to area directors, 12 August 2005).

Rumor:Utah National Guard Unit in Iraq

Additional Data: At that place is a spurious electronic mail document circulating regarding the involvement of a Utah National Guard unit in the Iraq conflict. One of its titles is "Modern Day Stripling Warriors." Although some of the events in the certificate have a thread of accuracy to them, the document in general is faux and should not be used in CES classrooms or otherwise distributed past or among CES personnel. A battalion chaplain with this item Utah National Guard unit has called the document "grossly misleading" (Memo to area directors, 19 November 2004).

Rumor: Generals in the War in Heaven
Boosted Data: The following quote attributed to President Boyd K. Packer and other General Authorities continues to be circulated throughout the Church building: "Y'all were in one case generals in the war in heaven and ane 24-hour interval, when you are again in
the spirit earth, yous will be enthralled with those whom you will associate with. You will enquire someone in which time period they lived and you might hear, 'I was with Moses when he parted the Red Ocean,' or 'I helped build the pyramids,' or 'I fought with Captain Moroni.' Equally you are standing there in anaesthesia someone will turn to you and enquire, 'which of the prophets' fourth dimension did yous alive in?' When you say, 'Gordon B. Hinckley's . . . ,' a hush volition autumn over every hall and corridor in heaven and all in attendance volition bow at your presence. You were held back 6000 years because you were the about talented, the most obedient, the most mettlesome, and the most righteous. Are you notwithstanding?"

On 12 February 2001, President Boyd Thou. Packer sent a letter to mission presidents refuting the quote. In the 28 April 2001 edition of the Church News President Packer over again refuted the quote. Delight continue to do all you lot can to put a cease to this spurious quote. (Memo to area directors, iv May 2001).

President Boyd Thou. Packer, acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve, has released the following apropos a argument he is said to have made:

"We continue to receive reports of the distribution of a quote attributed to me which begins, 'The youth of the Church building today were generals in the war in heaven,' and ends with the statement that when they return to heaven 'all in attendance will bow in your presence.' I did non brand that statement. I practice not believe that statement. The argument, on occasion, has been attributed to others of the Starting time Presidency and the Twelve. None of the Brethren made that statement."

President Packer has sent a letter of the alphabet to mission presidents requesting their help in clarifying this matter among missionaries and members, and has had posted on some Net sites carrying the statement a observe that he did not make this declaration (Church News, 28 April 2001, 5).

I specially beloved the final spurious story because I have heard information technology in both seminary classrooms and from the pulpit, and in both instances information technology was uttered through tears, which is a certain sign of the confirmation of the spirit. Anyway, like I said, this was my favorite site when I was a CES employee, and it is doubly then now. I would love to know if information technology has been added to since my day. I sincerely promise so. The internet has only aided the creation and spread of spurious materials.

This will be my first Christmas as an atheist. Just similar Tim Minchin, I happen to really like Christmas. In our family unit I'm ever the first one to start Christmas shopping, the offset one to get-go listening to Christmas music (For the past ix years I've started in early on November then I can sort out the songs for my annual Christmas mixes), and the first to kickoff watching Christmas movies. This year has been no unlike. While I'm not expecting a visit from Jesus, I still dearest the holiday and I am ready and willing to stack my yuletide cheer upwardly against that of any believing Christian.

Considering I will non be celebrating the religious elements of the holiday this twelvemonth, I've been thinking quite a bit about the true meaning of Christmas. The term "true meaning of Christmas" has been thrown nigh in vacation literature and sappy seasonal amusement for more than than a century at present. An endless parade of stingy old grumps, large headed children, animated and live activity grinches, the casts of most of our favorite sitcoms, and literally countless scores of Hallmark original movies accept droned on and on nearly the true meaning of Christmas. Only this year did I realize that there is something incredibly odd near the true meaning of Christmas as it is presented in out favorite Christmas media:Jesus doesn't figure into it at all.

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NyeHam1

I have spent a lot of time recently – too much fourth dimension, it could be successfully argued – listening to debates between prominent atheists (such as Dawkins, Hitchens, Harris, and Krauss) and their religious opponents. I don't know what I intended to find in these debates, only any it was I tin safely say that it only isn't there. I don't know if I expected Hitchens to Hitch-slap his opponents and so hard that they renounced god on the spot, or if I just wanted to see a unmarried theist concede and then much as a single point to an atheist. Neither of these events occurred, and I can't decide whether or not I ought to be surprised.

I suppose I should not have been surprised to meet a similar lack of progress when I engaged in similar debates with some of my family unit members. I honestly don't think that I tin can sway them to my side through the gentlemanly fine art of verbal fisticuffs. I'm non even trying to. I didn't gain my testimony of the church building through argue, and I didn't deconstruct information technology through debate either. Nevertheless, I nonetheless view fence as a fantastic method of pitting ideas against each other in order to determine their relative merits.

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Anti-Mormon

I got into a bit of a heated discussion with my wife final night that took a plough for the weird. I was writing another skeptical reading of a chapter in The Book of Mormon, and she didn't concord with my conclusions. Why non? Well, I was going into this whole matter about how Nephi portrays Laman and Lemuel in melodramatic terms (Nephi is a Dudley Doright blazon and Laman and Lemuel are Snidely Whiplash types) and I ended that the lord's favoring of Nephi was arbitrary and unfair, a fact which I supported with evidence from The Book of Mormon itself. Before I tell you what my wife said (which is the genesis of this entry) allow me tell you lot that there is 1 major problem with the way I read The Volume of Mormon now. I tin can't accept whatever part of it equally true, and I absolutely believe it was written by Joseph Smith and his compatriots. This being the case, why am I engaging it as if Nephi, Laman, and Lemuel were real people? They're fictional. Why should I care if god (also a fictional character) favors one over the other? I'm trying to deconstruct the key text of my old organized religion, merely I don't even have an acceptable theoretical framework for doing so.

Let'southward get dorsum to my married woman (Whom I beloved very much, in case you were wondering). Her first objection was that I was attacking portions of The Book of Mormon which don't necessarily prove information technology's not true (of course none of these minor issues amount to a negative proof, only what almost the fact that I tin find no less than 5 of them on every single page of The Book of Mormon? That's over 2,500 total issues with The Book of Mormon. Surely that amounts to…nonetheless not a definitive negative proof? Ok and then). Secondly, she said I was being nit-picky, which is admittedly true. I call up my intention was to pick all the nits I could, and so I can't argue with that assessment. Her final issue is that, in her words, "You seem like a bitter anti-Mormon." Ouch.

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Mormon Missionaries

I was a missionary once, and a pretty good ane at that. I kept the rules. I worked hard. I probably baptized more people than you lot did. I also acted like a complete asshole. You lot generally don't realize information technology until you get out of the church, but some of the words the church puts in your mouth, and some of the things it asks you to do make you an asshole. Home didactics, missionary piece of work, and even service projects can place yous in precarious positions in relation to your fellow man beings. You end upwardly doing and saying things you probably wouldn't do or say if left to your own devices.

I loved my mission. I love what information technology did for my life, and I loved the experiences it gave me. Even now I don't regret the time, energy, and money I spent on it. Even though this is the example, I still have a problem in relating to the people I knew from the mission field. I'one thousand facebook friends with about of my former companions as well as many of my converts. I don't want to grab my converts by the ears and shout, "I'm pitiful I led you astray! I was young and I didn't know what I was doing!" On the other hand, I don't want to lead a fake life and not let them know who I really am.

The other 24-hour interval my wife and I began an interesting discussion about what the missionary discussions would look like if they were honest. Of course the missionaries don't know that the discussions they teach are dishonest. I didn't know. I was simply teaching the things I had been taught. Anyway, this post is going to follow the construction of the first discussion. I'm going to try to correct some of the discrepancies betwixt what is taught in the first discussion, and what ought to be taught if the church building were teaching its missionaries to be honest.

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I've been around long enough to run into a several friends and family members leave the church long before I found my own reasons to leave. This means that I've seen everything from depression to anger to ostracism on the part of those friends and family members who are left behind. Every bit Paul F. Tompkins pointed out in the video to a higher place, getting yelled at is the worst possible issue of one's life decisions. I knew that there was a real possibility that I might get yelled at when I left the church building. I saw how it went downward with my family, and there was a lot more yelling than depression when my older siblings left.

I am proud to say that I fabricated my way out of the church without having anyone in my family or ward yell at me. This existence the instance, I accept a few insights to offering if you are wanting to brand your own manner out of the church and non get yelled at by your family, friends, and ward members (Considering, allow'due south  face up it, with very few exceptions, the people in your ward aren't actually your friends. If yous don't believe me, leave the church and run across what happens to those friendships). If you follow the simple steps below, you may very well increase the likelihood that you'll make information technology out without getting harassed, harangued, or yelled at.

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atheist

There are few experiences more divisive than telling your Mormon family that you have left the church building. I just did it, and I lived to tell the tale. Information technology has been a nerve-wracking, exciting, frightening, exhilarating, terrifying, and liberating experience thus far, and I'm on the positive side of the equation. Equally for my family (excluding those members of my family who accept already left the church, who no doubt felt some of the nervous excitement I did) they were probably feeling sadness, la-la-land, depression, confusion, and misery. Information technology isn't easy to have your siblings go out the church. I should know. I went through it twice, and I never idea I would take to do it myself.

Every bit with everything I take done in my journey out of the church, circumstances exterior my sphere of control conspired to make me human action before I idea I would have to. I went from calmly anticipating the day when I would transport the letter to my family to a land of utter panic in which I realized that I would take to send my letter within the hr in society to avert disaster.

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Soapbox

And then today something happened that I've been expecting/dreading/preparing for for a while now. I live in a very modest Mormon town. It'southward the kind of town that encourages a whole lot of hegemony and discourages any sort of boat rocking. The influence of the church is so deeply-rooted in this town that even the not-Mormons are fully fluent in Mormonspeak. When someone leaves the church building, people are going to want to know what happened. Despite my bishop's promise to keep a torch-wielding mob away from my doorstep (which he has been absolutely faithful to, past the manner), he tin can't monitor the individual members I'll meet around town who will want to ask why they haven't seen me at church.

I correctly predicted that the first person who would discover our absence in the ward would be our daughter's master teacher. There are only a 6 kids in her class, and she's bound to notice when i of them shows upward missing. I have seen my girl's teacher several times recently considering she works at my daughter's pre-school. Every time I've seen her, I've averted my gaze and kept my distance. I just don't similar confrontation. Well, today the inevitable happened. Subsequently dropping my girl off at school, I stopped at the dollar store to pick up a couple things (Dollar General is the but retail location in this town. That's how small-scale it is) and I ran into the principal teacher. She leaned into the aisle where I had ducked to avoid her and said, "We've missed your daughter in grade."

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JSDerp

My wife has spent the improve function of this weekend researching apologetic responses to the Book of Abraham translation issue, and we have has a lot of fun discussing the diverse issues as well as the many responses to the problems.

As early as 1873 Egyptologists take been publishing peer-reviewed works which contradict Joseph Smith's translation of the Book of Abraham. This issue only grew in severity when the actual papyrus from which Smith purportedly translated the piece of work was discovered in 1966. Since that time, scholars have torn Smith'due south translation to shreds, leaving no doubt that the Book of Abraham is not what it purports to be.

I have noted one common thread which runs through both the official response of the church and the many varied responses of apologists in addressing the Book of Abraham result: that Joseph Smith was too unschooled, likewise unlearned, too inexperienced, too naive, and – in a word – too impaired to realize what was actually going on.

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5nerkip

Eight months ago I received a master'southward degree in English language. I graduated with distinction, having earned a perfect GPA. I was really really expert at grad school, and in my foolishness I thought my apparent intelligence would be able to secure me some sort of small employment. After months of fruitless job searching (I began filling out applications in Nov of terminal year, so information technology'due south been 10 months) I have come to the decision that mice accept had meliorate plans than mine. Oh aye, I can make references to the works of Robert Burns, merely that doesn't hateful anyone wants to pay me for it. I'm non happy right now, and it feels similar I'm doing something wrong.

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