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Getting a divorce may be emotionally stressful, but it doesn't have to be financially painful. There are many methods for lowering the costs of a divorce. For example, you and your spouse might qualify for a simplified or summary divorce procedure. This procedure makes divorce fast because you have no children together or assets. If you don't qualify for a summary divorce, then you can still work out issues on your own and file for an uncontested divorce. The key to making divorce cheap is communication. Where you and your spouse can agree on how to divide parenting time and property, then divorce can be relatively cheap.

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    Check if this option is available. In some states, you can get a "simplified" or "summary" divorce if you and your spouse don't have any children or real estate together. The precise requirements will depend on your state.

    • To find out if you can get a "simple" divorce, stop into your county courthouse and ask the court clerk. He or she will let you know the divorce options. If there is a simplified divorce procedure available, then the clerk should give you a list of requirements.

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    Make sure you meet the requirements. The state will set many requirements which must be met in order to get a simple divorce. Make sure that you satisfy all of them, otherwise you will need to go through a regular divorce.

    • You and your spouse do not have minor children together. Also, the wife isn't pregnant.[1] [2] [3]
    • You don't own any real estate together.[4]
    • You have been married only a short time. In California, for example, you can get a summary dissolution if you have been married less than five years.[5] In Illinois, you must have been married for eight years or less.[6]
    • One of you has met the state's residency requirements. In Florida, for example, one spouse must have been a resident for at least six months.[7]
    • You don't own too much property together. Even if you don't own real estate together, you and your spouse might own a couple of cars and furniture. Most states limit how much you can own together in order to qualify for a simplified divorce. For example, in California the limit is $41,000.[8] In Illinois, the total amount cannot exceed $50,000.[9]
    • Other requirements set by the state.

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    Get the forms. The court should have printed "fill in the blank" forms that you can use for your simple divorce.[10] These forms make it easy to get divorced without a lawyer's help. All you have to do is fill in the information and then file the forms with the court clerk.

    • You might also check online to see if the forms have been posted as PDFs.

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    Fill out the paperwork. You and your spouse should try to fill out the paperwork together. Print neatly using ink.[11] Alternately, you can use a typewriter. By working together, you can avoid disputes, and both of you can rest assured that you have filled out the forms accurately.

    • If you can't fill out the forms together, then make sure that each spouse has plenty of time to go over the forms and make corrections.
    • Nevertheless, you should meet together because you will need to divide whatever property you do own jointly. The petition will probably ask that you write out who owns what property, as well as whatever joint debts you have.

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    Sign the forms. Sign the original and make a couple copies of the forms.[12] You may need to get the forms notarized. Often, you can have a form notarized at the court clerk's office.

    • To get a form notarized, be sure to sign in front of the notary. Also bring sufficient personal identification. Typically, a valid driver's license or passport is sufficient.

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    File the forms. You will have to take the signed forms to the court clerk. In some states, you will have to go to the courthouse together.[13]

    • The clerk might ask you questions. You might also need to appear before a judge, depending on your state.[14]

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    Pay fees. In order to make the divorce final, you need to pay to file the petition.[15] Ask the court clerk for the fee amount and acceptable methods of payment.

    • If you can't afford the fee, then ask the court for a fee waiver form and fill it out.[16]

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    Take your time. Believe it or not, a quick divorce can be a costly divorce. If you have children, then a court will need to decide child custody arrangements. Also, if you and your spouse own property together, the judge will need to divide the property.

    • You and your spouse can come to an agreement on these matters, but you should understand that a judge always needs to agree to them. If you rush through your divorce, a judge might not think that your proposed child custody agreement is in the child's best interest. In this situation, the judge might reject it, thus slowing down your divorce.
    • For this reason, you should set aside several blocks of time to discuss details of the divorce with your spouse.

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    Talk with your spouse. The best way to keep a divorce cheap is to come to an agreement with your spouse about the division of child custody and spousal property. Remember the following tips for having productive conversations when emotions run high:[17]

    • Show your spouse that you are listening. Make eye contact and don't interrupt.
    • Always make sure that you understand what your spouse has just said. You can summarize what was shared and then ask if you understand your spouse correctly.
    • Don't judge. You might be upset by your spouse's demands, but try to follow up and ask why your spouse thinks he or she deserves whatever it is they are asking for.
    • Try to be as relaxed as possible. Don't sit with your arms crossed or your body angled away from your spouse.

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    Seek mediation, if necessary. If you and your spouse can't come to an agreement, then you should seek the help of a mediator. A mediator is a neutral third party who listens to both sides explain your disagreement and helps to guide you to a solution you both can accept. A mediator is not a judge.[18] Instead, he or she helps the parties see how they can bridge differences.

    • Mediators cost money, but not as much as a divorce. A full-scale custody battle in court, for example, could cost up to $100,000.[19] Even if you have to pay for your mediator, the average cost is around $3,000.[20]
    • Some courts offer mediation programs divorcing couples can use. Stop in and ask. If your courthouse runs a community based mediation program, then it might be free.[21]
    • You can also call your local or state bar association and ask if it maintains a list of mediators.[22]

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    Participate in mediation. Divorce mediation will only be successful if you approach it with an open mind. You can't insist on only getting your way. Instead, mediation is most successful if you are willing to compromise.[23]

    • During mediation, you will probably get a chance to make a short statement. Your spouse will also. The mediator will then try to find out where you and your spouse agree and where you disagree.[24]
    • Mediation can take several sessions. After the first session, you and your spouse might gather information, such as the value of your property. At the next mediation session, the mediator will help you and your spouse divide the property.
    • Remember to come to an agreement on the following. If you can't, then your divorce will be contested, which means lawyers will get involved and the cost of your divorce will balloon:
      • child custody
      • property division
      • spousal support

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    Get the court forms. Most states have printed forms you can use for family law matters such as divorce. You can get these forms from the court clerk or from the self-help center at your court. You may also check with a local legal aid organization, which could have printed out forms as well.

    • To find a legal aid organization near you, look in your phone book. You may also search the Legal Services Corporation's website at www.lsc.gov. Click on the link "Find Legal Aid" at the top and then enter your address.

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    Draft a child custody agreement. If you have children, then you and your spouse will need to come up with a child custody agreement (also called a "parenting plan"). In this document, the two of you come to a detailed agreement about the child custody schedule. Some courts provide forms which you have the option of using.[25]

    • You should be as detailed as possible in the child custody agreement. Include information about holidays, vacations, and how children will be transported from one parent to the other. The more detailed you are, the more you will be able to prevent disputes further down the road.
    • The Montgomery County, Maryland court has a sample parenting plan you can download and use when drafting your own: https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/circuitcourt/Resources/Files/FamilyDivision/Sample_Parenting_Agreement_Language.pdf. Be sure to revise it to suit your agreement with the other parent.

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    Divide assets and debts. You also need to tell the judge how you will divide joint assets and debts. For example, if you bought a house together, then someone needs to take ownership of the house and someone needs to take ownership of the mortgage. Some courts have forms you can use on which you list your joint assets and who will own them. Alternately, you might write up a list of assets and debts and assign ownership to each.

    • Go down through all real property (real estate) and personal property that you own. Try to come to a division that works for the both of you.
    • You also need to divide joint debts. For example, if both of your names are on a car loan, then one of you will take responsibility for the loan.
    • For more information on how to write up a division of debts and assets, see Write a Divorce Settlement Agreement.

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    Decide if there will be spousal support. Spousal support is also called "alimony." You should come to an agreement about whether one of you will pay the other money and for how long.

    • Alimony can last for a short period of time or indefinitely.[26] For example, you might agree to pay your spouse money for the next few years so that he can finish his college education. The alimony would therefore be short-term.
    • Generally, you can waive any right to alimony.[27] Waiving alimony can speed up the divorce process and make it cheaper. Remember, however, that once you waive alimony you cannot change your mind after the divorce has gone through.
    • You will need to include provisions about alimony in your divorce settlement agreement if you and your spouse agree to it.

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    Complete all other forms. In addition to the petition for divorce, there may be many different forms you have to fill out. You should complete all relevant forms. For example, you might also need:

    • Financial affidavits. The court will probably want to see a detailed breakdown of the couple's finances, including debts and expenses. This might be a separate form or included in the divorce petition.
    • Declaration Under Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act. This form usually requires that you state where the children have been living.

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    File your divorce petition. You should make several copies of the joint petition, as well as supporting documents, and take them to the court clerk. Each spouse should keep a copy of the paperwork. Ask the court clerk to file the original.[28]

    • You will have to pay a filing fee in order to file the petition. If you can't afford the fee, then ask the court clerk if you can fill out a fee waiver form.

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    Appear before the judge. The judge will need to approve the division of asset and debts. You should have a hearing scheduled. Be sure to reread your petition and divorce settlement agreement before going to court.

    • The judge might have questions about your parenting plan. Be prepared to discuss why you think the plan is in the best interest of your child.
    • Try to look your best during the divorce proceeding. For men, you might want to wear a suit. Women should also try to wear a suit (dress or skirt suit). Women can also wear a conservative dress.
    • For tips on how to talk to a judge, see Address a Judge in Court.

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    Compare prices. If you need a lawyer, then you don't have to hire the first name you see in the phone book or the person who helped your brother or sister get divorced. Instead, you can compare lawyers and their prices. One way to find the cheapest legal help is to schedule multiple free consultations and ask about a lawyer's fees.

    • You can get referrals for a divorce lawyer by calling your state's bar association.
    • Think about giving a young divorce lawyer a chance. Lawyers who have been out of law school only a few years might charge a lower fee. Although a younger lawyer might not be as experienced, he or she is ethically obligated to seek out the help of a more experienced attorney if any questions arise which he or she can't answer.

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    Consider "unbundled" legal services. You should definitely have a lawyer for a contested divorce. However, you still can manage the costs by hiring a lawyer to perform only discrete tasks. This is called "unbundled' or "limited scope representation."

    • For example, you might only need a lawyer to look over your paperwork or to represent you in court. In these situations, you can hire the lawyer to perform only those tasks.
    • Most states now allow lawyers to offer unbundled legal services. You should ask the lawyer during an initial consultation whether this is an option for you.

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    Contact your lawyer sparingly. If you do hire a lawyer, then you need to be careful when using the lawyer's time. Lawyers generally bill in fifteen minute increments and each 10-minute phone call to your lawyer can add significant time to your bill. You should remember the following:

    • Write down any question about the divorce that you have in a notebook. Instead of calling your lawyer each time you have a question, you can gather your questions in one place. Once you have 10 or more questions, you can schedule a phone call and get quick answers to each question all at once.
    • Resist the urge to call up your lawyer every time you want to complain about your spouse. Your lawyer is charging for his or her time.
    • Complain to other people. If you need a friendly ear to complain to, then find someone other than your lawyer.

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    Use your court's family law center. Some courts now have self-help centers for family law cases.[29] Instead of hiring a lawyer, you could have someone at the self-help center look over your paperwork.

    • Self-help centers vary in the types of services they provide. In some courts, the staff will only look at your forms and make sure that you have filled them out properly. In other self-help centers, the staff can answer legal questions.
    • To find out if your court has a self-help center, call or stop in and ask.

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  • Watch out for websites. Many websites offer cheap divorces. However, these websites are basically only offering document preparation, which you can do yourself. There are rarely lawyers on staff, and these websites typically do not offer legal advice. To save the most money, you can get the court forms yourself and complete them.

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